Saturday, May 14, 2011

On my mind.

Hello :)

The past month has been both lovely and stressful and thrilling and questioning all at once and I have been so preoccupied with finding a job that girlandlovelynotebook was sadly put on the back burner.  Every day I've felt the need to blog like a subtle magnet pulling me back however, so now here I am with a job, more stability back east, and a clearer head.  I missed being able to create, find inspiration and write, and will never give up on it, despite sometimes extended breaks when my world has somehow gotten too hectic.  When I devour all forms of art, a strange guilt comes with the release because it often feels too good to stop.  If life allowed, I could binge on color and words and music for days as the hours slip away almost as though they are non-existent in my pursuit for all that is real.

"Write, write yourself alive."
-Jacques Roubaud

Sometimes I don't necessarily believe in "balance."  I suppose that, (being the passionate person I am) one part of my life needs 80% while another part takes 20%.  Then I'll flip it and throw myself into another part whole heartedly that I intuitively know needs my attention.  I tend to rise and fall as tides do, rather than being constantly trying to balance the waters, yet I somehow find harmony in this method.  Everything moves, revolves and changes all of the time so I believe in flexibility and acceptance of this idea; flowing with what works for you each individual day as best you can, whether you veer quite obviously more toward one end of your life than another with the confidence that it all comes back full circle anyway. I DO think that we must follow this however:

I also believe as human beings, what we want is never simple.  We swiftly move along things we thought we wanted, but they aren't always as fulfilling as we'd hoped.  I know that all we truly want appears in disguise when we dream  and then when we wake, those things stay with us, buried as the animal within that aches for what we don't really know, then gradually can see with great clarity later through clouds and smoke and the full blown sun.

Speaking of ALIVE, if this song doesn't make you feel it, 
then I don't know what to tell you. ;)
Just kidding but this band, Cut Copy has recently been the soundtrack to my life.  
Enjoy. :)

Sweet dreams :)

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