Thursday, March 3, 2011

And I'd go somewhere with you.

"I felt myself a pure part 
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind."
-Pablo Neruda

So I packed up everything I own on Monday, either shipped it or filled my car, threw away anything that is no longer useful and picked up my father from SFO to start the drive from San Francisco to Austin... the first leg of the trip.  Why did I drive?  The main reason (in the beginning) was because I couldn't put my dog on a plane to Boston as it just seemed cruel.  As the weeks went on leading up to the move however, I began to love the idea (even daydream) of seeing the southwest by car.  My father would do the first half of the trip with me, I'd stop in Austin for awhile so I could recover at my parents', then my friend would fly to Austin and drive the second half with me up the east coast to Massachusetts.

So here I am finally in Austin, filled with inspiration after the last few days.  There was something so liberating about cutting back on "stuff", then taking off in my car with one of my favorite people and my dog for the open road, my mind filled with overwhelming yet thrilling uncertainty, yet my soul knowing it was the absolutely the right thing.  Something about the trip made me so alive again... able to really feel each moment without the usual schedule and hyper focus on the usual day to day tasks.  The less routine the more life rings true, and as much as the lack of control is nerve-wracking, is propels you to know yourself more than ever before.  My father and I not only bonded, but witnessed snow-capped mountains near Palm Springs, a mind-blowing sunset over Arizona's dramatic red landscape, and towns so small I felt like I was on an old western movie set along with railroads, oil rigs, coyotes, saloons and jack rabbits.  

There was once a time when I never thought I'd leave California and it's glorious gorgeousness at every turn, but there are so many other beautiful places with character  and I've grown to appreciate their individuality; each state, each city and each town has something to offer, something to learn from and an energy all its' own that should be both embraced and appreciated as it gives to you things that you may have never known had you not given it a chance.  Packing, moving, and driving in a cramped car for thirty hours was (without a doubt) one of the most difficult things emotionally and physically I've ever had to do but as I grow older, I find that the things that are worth doing are generally the toughest to get through.  I know I'll one day look back on these moments, when all I had was simply the two lane american highway and a new life awaiting right in front of me.  Change, my friends, is the only certainty.

So I'm not one to like country music but I think this song by Kenny Chesney is an absolute gem. I think we've all been there at one point or another. Sweet dreams. :)  


  1. You make me want to head out on a road trip. Or at least read some Kerouac.