Autumn girl.

I am an Autumn girl. 

"Delicious Autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I was a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns."

-George Eliot

You see, I've always loved the typical Autumnal things, but somehow when autumn sheds her skin in a spectacularly beautiful whirl of color, mood and scent, it goes far deeper for me. It is my belief that no season holds such a state of grace, dignity and profound understanding, so every autumn, I stand in continual awe with the world around me, as nature quietly purges herself to prepare for sleep and renewal. We are all so intricately connected to every part of the land and light, and this interconnectedness seems to show up most in Autumn.

I've loved this particularly gorgeous track by Paul Van Dyk since the age of seventeen. It truly seems to sweep you right into all that is Autumn, as though you were flying through Aspens and mist, madly high off mountain air and wind. It will forever exist as my number one track to drive, walk or even breathe to every October.
Enjoy the ride. :)

photo source: here and  here

In order to be whole.

There is in every one of us

reasons to move forward.

Move forward

to keep yourself alive.

To make yourself whole.

Lie still with me and watch

the images I know

that will help us push on

in order to stay alive

in order to be whole.

Photo source: here

Come closer.

"Come closer to me,

come closer,

and I promise you, 

it will be beautiful."

-Anais Nin

I believe that intimacy is one of the most important things we have. We're all connected on this earth, so once I know someone, I want to know them. Small talk is practically unbearable, floating past my ears, which crave so much more. I want to know beyond the sentences describing your breakfast, the weather, your practiced and polite "I'm well, how are you"'s and go deeper. Tell me what's really going on. Are you in pain? Are you in love?  What are your essential things aside from air, sleep, breath and dreams? I'm interested to know the oceans you've crossed, your confusions, your questions, your desires, your world, your soul.

"And I'll be anything you ask and more..."

Photo source: here

Powerful progress.

 It's a Saturday evening on the last day of June.

 Lately, I've been working hard at existing peacefully in the space between where I am and where I want to be.  I bought a juicer to whip up vibrant and alive food creations to fill my body with nutrients because I believe there is healing in eating intelligently.  I frequently release every toxin and insecurity from my being in the Bikram yoga room; eyes stinging from sweat, muscles straining deep in the stretches, while the teacher's voice fills my ears with the continuous dialogue that "this will change everything." 

I spend time breathing in the humid air that defines the summer here, noticing memories that sometimes reemerge from my years as a teen in Rhode Island.  Some are hauntingly painful, some so sweet I'm swept away into that teenage wonder once again when I am seventeen, there was so much time to live every dream imaginable, and so many places and people to fall in love with.

I'm with my dogs as much as possible, often glimpsing a reflection of myself in their soulful eyes, which catches me off guard enough to notice and improve on certain things. I'm grateful for their honesty.

 I throw myself into my real, idealistic work, giving every last fiber of my mind until my energy wanes, reaching further than that dip any type of caffeine could save, until another day is gone. I push, and I push, and I push to create a world that I can inhabit and truly, truly accept and love as my own. 

"Reasonable people adapt themselves to the world.

Unreasonable people attempt to adapt the world to themselves.

All progress, therefore, depends on unreasonable people."

George Bernard Shaw

  These days fly. They fly into where I hope my aim is pointing.  And when the day pulls you in so many chaotic and confusing directions, face your heart, reach for it, put it back into your chest, and tell yourself that this is what's important.  All we can do my friends, is continue to do the right things, to throw yourself into what drives you, to dare greatly, and to bring forth the intention of where you want to be... physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, and something powerful can happen.

Speaking of powerful...
this is one of my all time favorite trance tunes.
It's progress, hope, and this moment
wrapped into a masterpiece of sound.

Photo source: here

Bloom.

"The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory, and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful."
-Milan Kundera

I'm not certain as to whether or not my fascination with country settings is rooted in my long history of horseback riding or if there is simply something so beautifully peaceful about the idea of a hill country setting that I cannot help but long for it.  It's probably a little of both or maybe neither; maybe it comes from another place deep within me that I'm still mysteriously unaware of.  Either way, I cannot get enough of farm and field visuals particularly when pretty music is involved.

Needless to say, when I first saw this perfect video
 I wanted to live inside of it.
The Paper Kites.

"In the morning when I wake

And the sun is coming through

Oh, you fill my lungs with sweetness

And you fill my head with you.

Shall I write it in a letter?

Shall I try to get it down?

Oh you fill my head with pieces

Of a song I can't get out

Can I be close to you?

Can I be close to you?

Can I take it to a morning

Where the fields are painted gold

And the trees are filled with memories

Of the feelings never told?

When the evening pulls the sun down,

And the day is almost through

Oh, the whole world is sleeping,

But my world is you

Can I be close to you?"

Photo source: here and here

That summer afternoon.

We drove through the golden landscape and hills,
 the wind in our hair and road stretched before us, 
where adventures, creative urges, and epiphanies
 awaited us that summer afternoon.  

We were tipsy
 off one another
as though the sunlight and fresh air 
we invited to fill our lungs 
was actually wine.

I was happy.




Photo source: here

Afraid of nothing.

I must admit, I had a pretty defeating week.  A strange one.  The kind that isn't terribly bad, but certainly odd enough to realize that things are always in flux, changing in subtle ways you sometimes can't even sense.  I'd been walking around in a bit of a fog all morning, quite disconnected until I knew I had to do something specific:

I had to read.

I read all afternoon until the sun faded and I felt at peace enough to step back into my own life again unafraid. Reading in itself inspires me to get back on girlandlovelynotebook, this blog I've been neglecting for months where I can revisit to simply see what happens.

So here I am.

"I want to think again of noble and dangerous things.

 I want to be light and frolicsome.

I want to be improbable and beautiful and afraid of nothing

 as though I had wings."

-Mary Oliver

Here's Train with the beautiful Mississippi. 

Photo source: here