The words we couldn't say.

"Meet me for coffee... you know the place."

We had everything to say, yet no way to say it.
Now was our chance, but the words wouldn't come.

 So we skimmed surface topics, and didn't stay long.
Time had passed but the ache still remained.
Flashbacks.

  Familiar scents and patterns.

Your eyes burning into mine.

Your lopsided grin.

I wanted to hold you.  To love you again.

But these were things I could also not say.

So we stood up, shook hands,
and went through the motions.
Empty coffee cups.

Weak smiles.

"Take cares."
You looked and you lingered, and I felt words.....
that still didn't come.

So I left, breaking the magnet pulling me back.

Your burning eyes.

The ache.

'The chance.

 Walking further from you. Further from us.   

Away from everything and nothing....
 we could ever say.

"Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order's tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different "kind"
I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind? "

Some sort of paradise.

"Do you they collide?"  I ask, 

 Keys out of the ignition, seats slanted back.

You smile, as though you know the secret to some ancient question
"Of course they do.  If you just squint your eyes."

So you squint right then.  And so do I.
We gazed upward at the stars above,
  burning and dancing through the night.
"Do you see it now? They collide."
I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, 
but I was then because all I could think was that
 I wanted to reach up and pull down that violet sky,
like a sparkling, safe light 
to wrap around you and I,
where we could forever live.......
 in some sort of paradise.

"You've applied the pressure
to keep me crystalised
And you've got the faith
that I could bring paradise."

The one that knows.

Stop listening to the voices on tv, in magazines, on the radio and your computer. The friends who mean well, yet still don't know. The parent with the protective tone.  Listen only to the voice that whispers at night, just before you dream. The voice mixed with sweat after your run.  The voice as calm as silence when dawn breaks.  The only voice you should pay full attention to... 

is yours.

Image source: here

La belle vie.

So I've been thinking lately that Americans should learn from the French.  I know, I know.  Many American folks dislike them (or just think they do), but personally, I think they do everything the correct way. I've always loved all things french, as you can probably tell from the many, many french images all throughout this blog. :)

The language, the culture, the food, the people, the architecture, the fashion, the fragrances,  the desserts, the passion, the rivers.....

 ....the design, the chocolate, the street lamps,  the brie, the wine.... (sigh).  Everything that makes up France is just wonderful.

 From the balconies, the chimneys, the beige, black, and white colors, to the windows, Paris in itself is an absolute dream.  I was twenty when I visited and the place was such an inspiration that I spent the majority of those two magical weeks writing in cafes throughout the city.

Why do I think the French do it the right way?  Because they know the meaning of "less is more."  They know they can eat fondue and pastries... as long as they control the portions. They know how to make something simple such as a scarf gorgeously complete an outfit. More freedom with less worrying.  More love with less information.  More style with less stuff.  While Americans think in terms of black and white, the French live in shades of grey, holding a very realistic outlook on the imperfections in life. They are content with ambiguity and don't have to define, calculate, and play by every single rule.  They take pleasure in lingering over coffee, art, and gardens.

  The French straddle the line between romanticism and realism flawlessly, and prefer subtleties over telling all.  More mystery. An inner life. The implicit over the explicit. They value privacy and discretion, recognizing boundaries we should all have. I also have yet to see a French person stumble around drunkenly.  I noticed the nights I'd go out that the scene was different there.  They'd hold themselves with class, always.

The French also know the fine art of "not giving a damn."  We can't please everyone.  Not everyone will like us.  But you know what?  Who cares?  See, isn't that freeing just to say outloud?  ;)

There is an elegance, a sophistication and a certain je ne sais quoi that I'm completely drawn to... almost fascinated with when it comes to the French.  There is nothing lovelier. <3  They are the epitome of grace.  We, as a culture should watch and learn. :)

I think that long after you leave a country like France, a small part of that culture stays with you.  You are forever changed in quiet ways, only you may recognize.  That's part of the beauty of travel, and why we learn so fast when we are immersed into cultures far different than ours.  It broadens our horizons, and leaves a lasting impact on the ways we think for years afterward.  Have a lovely night.... I'm sure I'll be dreaming of Paris. ;)

Ohhh, and I must (of course!) add that the French know good music.  So many great bands come from France, such as this awesome one( Pheonix) and my personal favorite song by them- "Love Like a Sunset."  Close your eyes and let it take you because if you are ready for it, I can assure you it will. From 4:11 on, it just may melt your brain. :)

"That country where it is always turning late in the year. That country where the hills are fog and the rivers are mist; where noons go quickly, dusks and twilights linger, and midnights stay.  That country whose people are autumn people, thinking only autumn thoughts. Whose people passing at night on the empty walks sound like rain." 

Ray Bradbury 

Photo source: here and here

Saudade.

You asked why it hurt so much.  "What hurts?"  I asked.  

"Staring into the sea.  The waves fill me with longing, for what....
 I'm not sure. 

 "Saudade." I whispered.  
It's a Portuguese word meaning you're longing for something 
that may not exist. 
What is left behind or what may lie ahead.

The sea mirrors the melancholic, wistful mystery of saudade.

It symbolizes both togetherness and separateness.  

It allows us to come and go, yet creates distance.

It reminds us of places we long to return to....

or of things that never were. 

Our ancestors felt this as loved ones went to sea 
for long periods of time, some never to return." 

 Saudade.  

It's in our blood.  

Jose Gonalez  I was recently introduced to this beautiful, sensual music by him,  and all I could think was "nostalgia." Sometimes we are longing for something the past gave us, and need hints to know we're on the right track now, in the present.  I absolutely love that guitar.....

Enjoy. :)

"While the crowd is waiting for the final kiss
the one which allows them to sleep well
We'll walk along our own path
the one which will lead us to our own bliss
But we need hints
before we get tired
But we need hints 
before we lose pace
Now we need a hint
to know we're on the right track."

Conductor in the sky.

Some mornings, I want to stop everything, and watch the sun envelop the earth.  Subtle.  Calm.  Constant.   How it orchestrates the shadows, the growth, the cycles and shapes on the ground.  I'd learn its rhythms.  Look for reason and clarity.  Allow the sun to gently guide me, as it guides all of our days.  

Image source: here

The ethereal, part deux.

I absolutely love putting gorgeous quotes with images.  And as you know by now, I love all things ethereal.  I'm a dreamer and idealist, always believing in the magic, authority and meaning of words, and seeing beauty in the pain we go through, as well as in the perfect highs: the moments we hold on to, or long for.  If you missed the first one, go here.

George O’Hearn: Beautiful women are invisible.

 David Kepesh: Invisible? What the hell does that mean? Invisible? They jump out at you. A beautiful woman, she stands out. She stands apart. You can’t miss her. 

George O’Hearn: But we never actually see the person. We see the beautiful shell. We’re blocked by the beauty barrier. Yeah, we’re so dazzled by the outside that we never make it inside.

-Elegy

"If you're listening, if you're awake to the poignant beauty of this world, 

your heart breaks regularly.  In fact, your heart is made to break;

its purpose is to burst open again and again

so that it can hold ever more wonders."

-Andrew Harvey

"Maybe you have to leave in order to miss a place; 

maybe you had to travel to figure out 

where your starting point was."

-Jodi Pico

"There is nothing to writing.  

All you have to do is sit there 

at a typewriter 

and bleed."

-Earnest Hemingway

"You never leave someone behind, 

you take a part of them with you 

and leave a part of yourself behind."

-unknown

"The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:

a human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.

To him.... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise,

a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, 

a friend is a lover,a lover is a god, 

and failure is death.

  Add to this cruelly delicate organism

 the overpowering necessity to create, 

create so that without the creating 

of music or poetry or books or buildings 

or something of meaning, 

his very breath is cut off from him. 

 He must create, must pour creation. 

 By some strange, unknown, inward urgency 

he is not really alive unless creating."

-Pearl Buck

"If my heart could explode into a tiny billion pieces

and scatter themselves all over the world.

If I could live on sunlight and the city sounds,

and fall asleep in those thousands of lighted windows.

I wonder if this world would make sense to me,

if I will ever truly understand anything,

if there is anything to understand at all."

-Forever the Stars

"Pale sunlight,

pale the wall.

Love moves away.

The light changes.

I need more grace

than I thought."

-Rumi

"Happy and sad, elated and miserable, secure and afraid,

loved and denied, patient and angry, peaceful and wild, 

complete and empty.... all of it.

I would feel everything.

It would all be mine."

-Stephanie Meyer

"There are moments of such pure, 

sublime, unparalleled perfection

 that will force you to close your eyes

 and hold on to them as best you can. 

 Life is a series of these moments. 

 Everything else is just waiting for them."

-unknown

"So I learned two things that night, and the next day from him:

the perfection of a moment, and 

the fleeting nature of it."

-Margaret George

"Perhaps all romance is like that;

not a contract between equal parties

 but an explosion of dreams and desires 

that can find no outlet in everyday life.  

Only a drama will do and while the fireworks last, 

the sky is a different colour."

-Jeanette Winterson

"The mind I love must have wild places,

 a tangled orchard where dark damsons 

drop in the heavy grass, 

an overgrown little wood, 

the chance of a snake or two,

 a pool that noboy's fathomed the depth of, 

and paths threaded with flowers 

planted by the mind."

-Katherine Mansfield

"Feelings do not grow old along with the body.

Feelings form a part of a world I do not know,

but it's a world where there's no time,

no space, no frontiers."

-Paulo Coelho

"I must be a mermaid, Rango.  

I have no fear of depths

 and a great fear of shallow living."

-Anais Nin

"I don't know, I can't quite get it."

"Don't try.  It's just words."

"Just words?"

"Just words!  We love them so much, you and me. 

 But in the end, they fail us. Because there are truths beyond the words."

-Aidan Chambers

"If there was only an invention that bottled memory

like scent.  And it never faded, and it never got stale.  

And then, when one wanted it, the bottle

could be uncorked, and it would be 

like having that moment all 

over again."

-Daphne Du Maurier

"Perhaps there is more understanding and beauty

in life when the glaring sunlight is softened

by patterns of shadows.  Perhaps there

is more depth in a relationship

that has weathered

some storms."

-Virginia Axline

"I've been looking so long at these pictures of you

that I almost believe that they're real.

I've been living so long with my pictures of you

that I almost believe that the pictures

are all I can feel."

-The Cure

"It's true that the people we meet shape us.

But the people we don't meet shape us also,

often more because we have imagined them so vividly.

They are people we yearn for, but never seem to meet."

-Simon Van Booey

"What is life?  It is a flash of a firefly in the night.  

It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime, 

It is the little shadow which runs across the grass

and loses itself in the sunset."

-Crawfoot